Time well wasted…

I have known JD for about five years now, maybe more but certainly have been friends with him for five years. The past five years, I got to know someone who I thought was a dear friend. And wow was I surprised to find out this weekend that he is like every other guy….Time well wasted!

JD was so different than the “scrubs” JD and I kind of knew, at the beginning, that him and I could probably never work because I do somehow think I need a big cute dork! Against my better judgment and a lot of my guy friends not really getting along with him, I vouched for him especially lately! The past two years, we have grown closer. Started talking about taking our relationship to a new level and figuring things out! But wow does a guy change when you give him one to many scotch drinks and put him in a room with coworkers

He warned me from the start that his schedule and lifestyle wouldn’t really allow him to be a great boyfriend and he’d probably only be able to come home and crash. Plus he lived on the west side of LA, so the distance was going to suck! He was an associate junior investor at some small to mid size firm. Apparently the firm was really invested in him and needed him 50+ hours a week and he did have to travel quiet often. At the time, two years ago, he said it would only be a few years and things would start to slow down he would get to manage more people and do less work.

That was two years ago! Now he has more power and has almost doubled his salary but he still works a lot. But he is down to 40+ hours a week. I cant really blame him for not having time, because for the past two years, I have been working in LA and living in the south bay so between work and a commute I was spending about 60+ hours at the hospital and on the road. Not only that I would constantly come home with patient charts that needed to be sorted, diagnosed, memorized and planned for the following morning. So work was really becoming a 5am to 11pm job, which put me at nearing 80-hour weeks. I didn’t mind, I was learning a lot and finishing my pediatric rotations. I started getting off early on Fridays and Wednesdays but would have to work weekend mornings.

Basically what I am saying is that we were two energizer bunnies that have barely enough time for a social life, let alone a love life. But hey investment bankers and doctors get married too. I knew I had the cake, but I wasn’t eating it, I took coffee breaks with coworkers and talked about our research project and although I got a long lunch, it was spent at the gym, 35 minutes of yoga or the elliptical was the only thing that kept me sane.

About a month ago, I finished my pediatrics rotation and wasn’t due back bedside until the end of the summer and my research project was being sent to the NIH for further evaluation. I knew that it was only a matter of time before I was going to get my life back and just in time for my 25th birthday!  The workload kind of came at a good time! I must admit so it didn’t really allow me to react to my three best friends moving away!

About a year ago my friends all business chicks got transferred, close enough for us to visit, but to far for us to have random Monday margarita nights or thirsty Thursdays!!! I was so busy, that having Lo in San Diego, Jo in San Fran and Jules in Dallas wasn’t that big of a deal. But now it kind of seems extremely lame!!!! I have two sisters and an awesome brother with a great fiancé so It’s not like I’m lonely or anything! I just really wish my friends were around more often and not just every other weekend.

Time came and went and I turned 25 while on vacation up north!!!! It was incredible. Turning 25 is a milestone moment in a girl’s life. But two weeks later as I am sitting here writing another love gone wrong or time well wasted piece for the magazine I realize

Wow I am 25! I love my job! I make good money, I love where I am financially and work-wise but what happened to the doctors without borders med school driven girl that had a drive for life, relationships and cures! Where did I go wrong???

It is not about where I went wrong, it became about not being there for the right relationships! Or maybe not being there for the relationship at all!!! This year a lot of the social events I have gone to happen to be the occasional birthday but mostly engagement parties, bachelorettes, going away parties and even one or two house warming parties. I pick only the most important events and schedule them, work and then my family…so time for JD was dwindling. He did come to the events with me, but he also had his events he had to go to. So we either went separately or enjoyed mutual friends weddings and leavings.

This past Saturday was a leaving, unfortunately, of a friend I’ve known just as long. The event was fun enough. He was just the right amount of touchy feely without making anyone around us or me uncomfortable. He had just the right amount of talk about the future and how attractive our many children would be. I met a few of his employees and he and I had one too many drinks.

Towards the end of the night, we were heading back to a friends hotel together, but we drove separately so we were waiting for two different cars under one dark valet umbrella where we could make out without anyone noticing.

The cars came and I told him I’d follow him to the hotel, pretending like I didn’t want to get lost. But instead of driving to the hotel, he drove to a nearby McDonalds. I didn’t want anything but less than anything I didn’t want to wait alone. So I parked my car and hopped into his. Maybe hinting at the wrong thing, but hey we’ve been friends a long time and a little alone time was good for the both of us.

Nothing happened really! Then I drove home as he drove to an empty hotel–we bantered through text back and forth for a bit, when I got back home. The nice guy I thought I knew was, after all, not so nice! In the end, time well wasted.

Time well wasted. At least the way Brad Paisley talks about it makes me feel like Natalie Portman at the beginning of “no strings attached”. If JD looked like Ashton Kutcher then I’d definitely try harder to waste time.

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